Ms. Silver Screen: Fright Night

I saw this movie pirate style. The way ordering a burger from In-and-Out Animal Style will always make your meal more enjoyable, watching a movie pirate style is sure to  enhance the film watching experience. To do this, just dump a bunch of rum into your movie theater soda (PLEASE NOTE: Pirate style does not involve bringing a parrot to the movie theater. I CANNOT stress this enough). In the case of FRIGHT NIGHT: the remake, this was a brilliant idea.

So the story of FRIGHT NIGHT is as follows. Anton Yelchin plays Charley. He is a lovable doofus who has somehow made it past his nerd days to become a babe magnet. Ed (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) is – or was – Charley’s best bud. That is until Charley became too big for his britches and started dating High School hottie Amy (Imogen Poots – poor girl).  Everything is going swimmingly. Charley is making his mark with the ladies and my cup overfloweth with genius juice.

But what’s this? A new neighbor has caught the eye of Charley’s mom Jane (Toni Collette). She is busted shamelessly flirting with the mysteriously handsome and perpetually betank-topped Jerry (Colin Farrell). His rippling muscles and Uncle Jesse head of hair have her swooning all over herself. Charley, being the astute young man that he is, realizes that Jerry isn’t the nice guy he appears to be. Are those fangs in your mouth or are you just happy to see me?

Charley must find a way to overpower the Dracula next door and seeks out the finest Vampire Killer in all the land: Peter Vincent himself (David Tennant). Vincent is a Midori slugging shit. He dresses up like Russell Brand and prances around on stage in his vampire show with a bunch of busty lady vampires. I mean, he comes through in the end and totally wins me over, but he’s kind of a prick at first. I love you, Peter Vincent.

This is a fun movie, folks. My first 3D experience wasn’t all that great. (Not naming any names, SCHMONAN THE SCHMARBARIAN.) FRIGHT NIGHT was superb in the 3D department. Not only is it great for the 3D, it’s just an all around good time. We are actually utilizing the 3D capabilities here! What a fantastic idea. There are little sparkley bits that fly at the viewer, scary bits that jump out at the audience, and all kinds of other random bits that are totally worth the extra $2.oo that we as the movie loving public shell out for those stylish 3D glasses. But, hey, if you want to be cheap about it, just see it pirate style and you won’t even need the glasses! You’re welcome.

I wish I could remember more vividly the specifics of the film aside for the 3D. You see, in my liquored up state I was so overwhelmed with all of the sparkley bits that I had trouble focusing on much else. Here’s what thought: I don’t care for Vampire movies. I don’t think those TWILIGHT kids are cute, talented, or talented. I know I said it twice. This movie was actually fun though! Two highlights: Colin Farrell plays a pretty good deranged Vampire neighbor. And now he can put that on his resume. Christopher Mintz-Plasse proved two things to me in this movie. One, he doesn’t HAVE to be McLovin for the rest of his life but he can’t stray far. Two, he looks TOTALLY different without his glasses. And both arms.