Buckle up and keep your hands and arms in the vehicle at all times!

Mutant Roadkill, by Glu Mobile, as many will say is just another rip-off of Temple Run.  But seriously, how long ago was Sonic the HedgeHog around doing the same damn thing, but without being chased?  Temple Run is nothing new.  Just something new to our addictive app world that we all crap ponies over when a new, fun app comes out.  Sure, Mutant Roadkill is the common  “How far can you get?” type game, but this game has a nice twist to it.  Instead of running on foot at impossible speeds, you are driving a vehicle and trying to get as far through the mutant infested wastelands as you can.   Instead of collecting coins like we see in most of these type games, you are killing mutants as your method of “coin collecting.”   Majority of the time you bring death to these mutated mother-fers by running them down with your vehicle.  But there are also machine gun turrets that get mounted to your vehicle, along with a hand gun to shoot the mutants if they are hanging on the side of your vehicle.   And for those pesky mutant bastards that just insist and hanging onto the side of your vehicle, you wipe them off by driving along side an obstacle and wiping them off.

As always, there are methods of upgrading your vehicle, guns, acceleration, and point collecting abilities.  All of which you can purchase via the store with currency you have collected along the road during game play or buy using real money.  And that’s where this game lost most my interest.

The makers of Mutant Roadkill are truly expecting people to spend a good amount of cash on this game just to keep playing and progress forward.  As you get further down the roads of destruction, you’ll find your vehicle just doesn’t have the maneuverability that you need to weave through the obstacles.  Thus you need to upgrade your vehicle.   Vehicle upgrades require money to purchase, not just a bunch of “coins” you collect.  You technically could collect the money via game play, but the quantity needed for these vehicles is ridiculous and it would take you hundreds of hours of playing to upgrade to the 3rd vehicle type.  And then hundreds of hours more to get to the next vehicle.  Its crap.   I didn’t look at the vehicle upgrade page until after I had spent a good 5 to 6 hours worth of playing the game.  Then my po’ po’ widdle heart was broken.

There are all sorts of upgrades, but the developer has sadly built this game around you having to spend money.  I get its how the developer makes money, but I feel they went a little overboard on the cost of everything and how necessary it is to spend money to really get through the game.

My point is, just skip this game.  Maybe they’ll make another version of it in the future and not be so greedy.  The game is fun at first, but the lack of true gaming quality is not good enough to bother spending a cent on.

On the bright side though, how smoking hot were those female Dutch Field Hockey players in the 2012 Olympics?

Final Rating: 5/10

CBR Break Down:
Console Played On: iPad 2
Available On:  iOS App Store
Gamer Score Earned: 9 miles
Price Bought at: FREE
Current Price: FREE on iTunes
Recommend Purchase Price: FREE
Why you should download it: Every time you fart, the balance on your credit card goes down by $4.37 
Why you shouldn’t download it:  Your mother was killed by a mutant